Understanding Paul: An Enigma in 1 Corinthians 7

 You’ve undoubtedly noticed that the apostle Paul is one of the most commonly misunderstood writers in the Bible. As the apostle Peter commented,

15 …our beloved brother Paul, according to the wisdom given to him, has written to you,

16 as also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things, in which are some things hard to understand, which untaught and unstable people twist to their own destruction, as they do also the rest of the Scriptures.

17 You therefore, beloved, since you know this beforehand, beware lest you also fall from your own steadfastness, being led away with the error of the wicked. (2 Pet. 3:15-17.)

One of the foulest perversions of Paul’s writings, of course, is the demonic lie that he taught against God’s law — as if he subscribed to the “mystery of lawlessness” (2 Thes. 2:7) that he himself condemned! We’ve addressed this matter on this blog many times.

But sometimes other passages are misunderstood and taken out of context as well. We must be careful when reading Paul’s writings. He was a learned man, well-versed in the Scriptures, and frequently referred to the Old Testament in his writings. Therefore, we cannot isolate them from the rest of Scripture, but can only understand them in context with it!

One such passage is 1 Corinthians 7. Some folks believe Paul was anti-woman, that he frowned on marriage, and that he thought it was better for everyone to remain single. That marriage is, at best, a necessary evil. This view is based primarily on three short passages within the chapter.

The first is this one: “Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman” (1 Cor. 7:1).

Next, “For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Cor. 7:7-9).

And finally, “Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you” (1 Cor. 7:27-28).

 Did Paul really frown upon marriage? Did he teach that it was better for everyone to remain unmarried? That one should get married only if one couldn’t exercise self-control? “Get married if you must, but it would be better if you didn’t, and I wish you wouldn’t.” Is that what Paul was trying to tell us?

Marriage: Blessing or Necessary Evil?

The truth is, if Paul had taught men and women to remain single, it would contradict not only the rest of the Bible, but the rest of his own writings. In 1 Tim. 5:14, for example, Paul urged young widows to marry: “Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

But that’s not all. Paul taught that the elders of a congregation should be married men with families: “A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife… one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence” (1 Tim. 3:2, 4). He explained, “For if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?” (1 Tim. 3:4). If a man has not led a household, how can he lead a congregation?

Paul echoed this thought in his epistle to Titus, writing that one should only be appointed an elder “if a man is blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of dissipation or insubordination” (Tit. 1:6). He then went on to list other qualifications, matters of godly character, as one would expect. But Paul clearly thought it was important for an elder to be a good family man!

So what about the rest of the Bible?

It is, of course, God who created marriage. “And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him’” (Gen. 2:18). After bringing Adam and Eve, the first man and the first woman, together, God blessed them: “Then God blessed them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth’” (Gen. 1:28).

The Bible describes marriage as a blessing from the Almighty. Prov. 18:22 tells us, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD.” Prov. 12:4 clarifies that it is, in fact, a good wife who is a blessing: “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.”

Here’s what Psalm 128 has to say about marriage and family life:

1 Blessed is every one who fears the LORD, who walks in His ways.

2 When you eat the labor of your hands, you shall be happy, and it shall be well with you.

3 Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table.

4 Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the LORD.

5 The LORD bless you out of Zion, and may you see the good of Jerusalem all the days of your life.

6 Yes, may you see your children’s children. Peace be upon Israel!

Mal. 2:11 describes marriage as “the LORD’s holy institution which He loves.” Then, a few verses later, we find, “But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth” (Mal. 2:15).

So God created marriage not only as a blessing to the husband and wife involved, but also because He desires godly offspring. He told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply, as we already read. He said the same to Noah (Gen. 9:1, 7) and to Jacob (Gen. 35:11). And to the Jews in captivity in Babylon, God said, “Take wives and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons and give your daughters to husbands, so that they may bear sons and daughters — that you may be increased there, and not diminished” (Jer. 29:6).

The Bible shows from beginning to end that marriage is a blessing from Almighty God, and that our great Creator desires godly offspring. The apostle Paul never contradicted this, but in fact expressed his desire for people to marry and have children, as we’ve already seen.

What, then, are we to make of 1 Corinthians 7?

Who Was Paul’s Audience?

First, let’s consider who Paul was writing to when he wrote 1 Corinthians. Ancient Corinth was steeped in immorality, as the Corinthian believers themselves had been prior to conversion. As 1 Cor. 6:9-11 says,

9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites,

10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.

As one might expect, there were growing pains. Paul told them, “And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual people but as to carnal, as to babes in Christ. I fed you with milk and not with solid food; for until now you were not able to receive it, and even now you are still not able; for you are still carnal. For where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men?” (1 Cor. 3:1-3).

Indeed, Paul corrected the Corinthian congregation for many sins and faults in this epistle, including,

• Envy, strife, and divisions (1 Cor. 1-3)

• Pride (1 Cor. 3:18-4:21)

• Tolerance of sexual immorality in their midst (1 Cor. 5)

• Suing one another and cheating one another (1 Cor. 6)

• Eating things sacrificed to idols (1 Cor. 8-10)

• Dishonoring the body and blood of Christ at Passover (1 Cor. 11:17-34)

• Being disorderly in Sabbath services (1 Cor. 14)

• Doubting the resurrection (1 Cor. 15)

In short, the Corinthians had much work to do. They needed to spiritually “grow up.” Is it not reasonable to suggest that the unmarried focus on getting right with God before thinking about marriage?

Keeping this in mind, let’s go through 1 Corinthians 7 again.

Analyzing the Chapter

Paul begins the chapter, as we already saw, with this statement: “Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman” (v. 1). But he follows it up with this statement: “Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband” (v. 2).

Paul was unmarried, as he noted later in the chapter (vv. 7-8). Whether he’d been married at one time or not, we’re never told. But for him, it was good to remain unmarried, and he was content. As he wrote elsewhere, “I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need” (Phil. 4:11-12).

He had a right to marry a believing wife as the other apostles did, including Jesus’ brothers and Peter (1 Cor. 9:5), but he did not wish to do so. He wished to focus all his attention on preaching the gospel, unburdened by any other cares of this life. His was a life of hardship:

24 From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one.

25 Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep;

26 in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren;

27 in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness—

28 besides the other things, what comes upon me daily: my deep concern for all the churches. (2 Cor. 11:24-28.)

Would Paul or any other man want to share such a life with a woman? Not likely.

Nevertheless, though he was content with his own life, Paul conceded that this wasn’t the life for most people. “Let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.” In 1 Cor. 7:7, he commented, “For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.”

Although most people can and should get married, Paul clarifies that there is no command to do so (1 Cor. 7:6). He also offers some reasons for not doing so.

The first is “because of the present distress” (1 Cor. 7:26). We aren’t told what the distress was, but it follows a sound Biblical principle: “Count the cost” (Luke 14:25-33). “The prudent considers well his steps” (Prov. 14:15). Know what you’re getting into before you do it. Distresses can be either temporary, or lifelong, as they were for Paul. But even under such circumstances, Paul noted that it was no sin to get married (1 Cor. 7:28). “Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh” (v. 28).

The second is this: “And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction” (1 Cor. 7:35). As we observed earlier, many of the Corinthians needed to focus on their relationship with the Creator. Their spiritual lives needed much work. If they were already unmarried, they had a perfect opportunity to focus solely on God without distraction. It is, in fact, good for new converts and young adults to devote themselves to God before considering marriage, to seek first God’s Kingdom and His righteousness (Mat. 6:33).

In reality, 1 Corinthians 7 agrees with the rest of Scripture and the rest of Paul’s writings. Most people should get married. It is not now, nor has it ever been, God's will for most people to remain single, as we observed in a previous post. Even so, there may be reasons to delay marriage, and there may be reasons for some to avoid it altogether, as Paul’s example shows.

Some Final Considerations

God intended marriage to be a wonderful blessing. “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD” (Prov. 18:22). “And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him’” (Gen. 2:18).

It is and always has been God’s desire for most of His people to get married, for “He seeks godly offspring” (Mal. 2:15). “Take wives and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons and give your daughters to husbands, so that they may bear sons and daughters — that you may be increased there, and not diminished” (Jer. 29:6).

It isn’t wrong to desire a spouse; God put that desire within us. But it is good for new converts and young adults to devote themselves to God before considering marriage, to seek first God’s Kingdom and His righteousness. This must be our first priority, and all else comes afterward. Seeking God first offers the additional benefit of making one a better spouse when the time comes.

It is also good to count the cost before getting married. If you are a man, are you able to provide for a wife and family? If not, then perhaps you should wait until you are. Do you have a close relationship with God, or are you still a spiritual babe? Are you still struggling with some stubborn sin? Perhaps you need to focus on developing your relationship with God first, so that you may be a better spouse later.

Even so, it isn’t wrong to get married without waiting. It may not be wise, but it isn’t a sin. It will, however, be more difficult than it might be otherwise. “Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you” (1 Cor. 7:28).

None of this, however, is a license to marry an unbeliever. This is not fulfilling God’s desire for godly offspring, but in fact profanes the institution of marriage and is an abomination! These are God’s words, not mine: “Judah has dealt treacherously, and an abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem, for Judah has profaned the LORD’s holy institution which He loves: he has married the daughter of a foreign god” (Mal. 2:11).

The apostle Paul made clear that, if one does marry, it must only be to a follower of Christ: “A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:39). He noted that, though he had a right to get married if he desired, it could only be to “a believing wife” (1 Cor. 9:5).

The only exception, the only circumstance in which it is acceptable to marry an unbeliever, is if that marriage happened prior to one’s conversion, when both husband and wife were unbelievers. “If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him” (1 Cor. 7:11-12).

Some folks get tired of waiting for a godly spouse, and invent all sorts of excuses to justify dating and marrying the unconverted. Doing things our own way, ignoring God’s purpose and timing, leads only to greater troubles. It delays, or even prevents, the blessings God has in store for us. People have all kinds of excuses for disobedience, all kinds of reasons that they know better than God. Brothers and sisters, the God who planned the universe didn’t fail to foresee your exact situation!

Anything that we place ahead of our Creator is an idol. Anything that we seek in disobedience to Him is likewise an idol.

The truth is, you do not gain the blessing of a good spouse by your own efforts, but such a spouse is a gift from God. “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies” (Prov. 31:10). “Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD” (Prov. 19:14).

But if you aren’t following God with your whole heart, if you don’t love Him above all else, why should He give you a spouse who does? Such a marriage would be unequally yoked! “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” (Amos 3:3). “And if a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand” (Mark 3:25).

Put God first. Give Him your whole self without reservation, fully submit to Him, love Him above all else. Accept His will in your life, no matter what it might be, and you will find that He truly has your best interests in mind, that His will is far greater and more rewarding than anything you imagined. He will give you everything you need, and more. “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Mat. 6:33).

God’s will for your life and His timing are always best!