The First Feminist
We live in a world driven by pride, greed, and envy. A world focused on self and advancing oneself. “You need more!” society exclaims. More money, more power, more toys, more fame… whatever someone else might have that you don’t.
Power, wealth, and fame are status symbols in this society. The more of them you have, the more important you are. If you have these things, other people will look up to you and think you’re someone special.
But this isn’t the view of Almighty God! In the eyes of our Creator, one’s wealth, power, and social status have no bearing on his or her value. All are equal under God’s law, from the President of the United States to the homeless woman sleeping on the park bench. No one’s social status will matter when standing before the judgment seat of God.
True Value
Speaking through Moses, God commanded the Israelite judges, “You shall not show partiality in judgment; you shall hear the small as well as the great; you shall not be afraid in any man's presence, for the judgment is God’s” (Deut. 1:17). God warned that every Israelite king must learn and transcribe His law “and it shall be with him, and he shall read it all the days of his life, that he may learn to fear the LORD his God and be careful to observe all the words of this law and these statutes, that his heart may not be lifted above his brethren, that he may not turn aside from the commandment to the right hand or to the left” (Deut. 17:19-20).
When Jesus’ disciples disputed over which of them would be the greatest, He corrected them and said,
25 “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them.
26 “Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant.
27 “And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave—
28 “just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” (Mat. 20:25-28.)
Indeed, God generally doesn’t call people whom the world holds in high esteem. As the apostle Paul reminded the Corinthians,
26 For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called.
27 But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty;
28 and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are,
29 that no flesh should glory in His presence. (1 Cor. 1:26-29.)
God doesn’t work with people who think too highly of themselves, or whose focus is on exalting themselves. “Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for ‘God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’ Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time” (1 Pet. 5:5-6).
So a human being’s true value isn’t determined by his or her wealth, power, fame, or any of the other things this world holds dear. Every human being is valuable in the sight of God, and no one is more valuable than another. In the eyes of God, parents are no more valuable than their children, a ruler than his subjects, employers than their employees, or husbands than their wives.
Nevertheless, they do not all have the same roles in society, nor the same authority. Authority and value are entirely different things.
The Divine Order
There are, and must be, authorities in human society, or else there would be anarchy and chaos. “For God is not the author of confusion but of peace” (1 Cor. 14:33). “Let all things be done decently and in order” (1 Cor. 14: 40).
Unless they tell us to disobey our Creator, God has commanded us to obey the lawful human authorities. In fact, many of these authorities have been directly appointed by God Himself! “Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God” (Rom. 13:1).
God has given parents authority over their children. He has granted kings, presidents, prime ministers, etc. authority over nations. He has given elders a certain amount of authority among His people. And He has given husbands authority within their families.
As we’ve seen previously, God created distinct male and female roles for a reason. God made men to be strong; He designed them to lead, provide for, and protect their families. He made women weaker; He designed them to be domestically inclined, to care for their husbands and children, to be nurturing and supportive, to make a house a home. A man is no better than a woman, nor a woman than a man; they are simply different. Both are necessary, and are designed to complement each other.
As part of this design, God tells wives to be “obedient to their own husbands” (Tit. 2:5). At least seven times in the New Testament, God commands wives to submit to and obey their husbands (1 Cor. 11:3, 9; 14:34-35; Eph. 5:22; Col. 3:18; 1 Tim. 2:11-14; Tit. 2:5; 1 Pet. 3:1-6). The apostle Peter tells us that all godly women did so: “For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror” (1 Pet. 3:5-6).
Does that make women inferior to men, less valuable, less intelligent, or less important? Did God give women a lesser role? Of course not! “No, much rather, those members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary” (1 Cor. 12:22).
But there must be order in a family, as also in society, and this is the order that God designed. He appointed husbands to be heads of their households, and told wives to be submissive to them. In turn, He commanded children to honor and obey both father and mother (Eph. 6:1-4; Col. 3:20). Husbands are to lead, provide for, and protect their families; wives are to be domestically focused, to love their husbands and their children, and to manage the household.
Again, we’ve seen all this before in greater detail. This is simply a brief summary.
God didn’t make each member of a family the same, but designed them differently to fulfill different and equally important roles. As the apostle Paul wrote about God’s spiritual family, “If the whole body were an eye, where would be the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where would be the smelling? But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body just as He pleased” (1 Cor. 12:17-18).
This is our Creator’s wise design, and it is very good. “Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good” (Gen. 1:31).
But what if a family member becomes discontent with the role that God appointed for him or her, and decides to usurp another member’s role? Suppose that the eye would rather be an ear, or that the ear would rather be a nose. What then?
Well, then we would have the feminist movement.
Envy and Self-Seeking
In this life, there is no loftier calling than that of wife and mother. What could be greater than bringing new life into the world and playing the biggest role in molding and shaping the next generation? There may be other callings as great, but there can be none greater. As C.S. Lewis pointed out, “But it [a housewife’s work] is surely, in reality, the most important work in the world. What do ships, railways, mines, cars, government etc exist for except that people may be fed, warmed, and safe in their own homes? …So [a housewife’s] job is the one for which all others exist.”
Without women, without families, and without homes, what would a man’s purpose be? What reason would he have for taming the wilderness and building civilizations? And yet without the man to lead, provide for, and protect the family, homemaking wouldn’t be possible. The woman’s role isn’t possible without the man’s, nor is the man’s role needed without the woman’s.
Yet this “evil and adulterous generation” (Mat. 12:39) rejects God’s design. It attempts to blur and confuse the gender roles that God created.
The feminist movement tells a woman she isn’t being fulfilled if she stays at home and rears her children, that she’s being degraded and devalued. That she must join the workforce instead. That she’s free when she serves a corporation, but a slave when she serves her husband and children. That, instead of embracing her uniqueness and her feminine role given to her by God, she should try to be more like men. That she should try to fill the same role her husband does.
Feminists tell women they need to be independent of men, that they need to have their own power, wealth, and fame to have real value. They don’t need husbands or children, they don’t need families. It’s only in a career, it’s only in trying to be like men, that a woman can find her real meaning and value.
It’s not just women who buy into feminism, though. Not by any means! All too many “men,” if we may call them that, are eager to shirk their responsibility of leading, protecting, and providing for their families. In their selfish and shortsighted greed, these “men” are happy to send their wives to work and their children to daycare or public school. Afterall, having two incomes in the house is more important than the wellbeing of one’s children, right? What could be more important than having more money and a higher standard of living?
And what have been the fruits of feminism? Jesus said, “You will know them by their fruits” (Mat. 7:16). So what have been the fruits of society’s attempt to undo our Creator’s order and design, and turn them upside down? Has this led to better marriages and happier homes? Lower divorce rates? More tight-knit families, in which the children love and honor their parents? You all know it’s accomplished none of these things — quite the opposite!
Women are simply terrible at being men, and men are equally terrible at being women. The results of trying to force this so-called “equality” are predictable. Why, it’s almost as if men and women weren’t designed for the same roles! It’s almost as if our Creator knew what He was doing!
But the rotten fruits of feminism extend beyond higher divorce rates, more broken homes, and emotionally damaged children. Feminism has birthed other abominations as well. For example, the sodomite and crossdresser movements are the natural result of feminist efforts to blur and confuse the gender roles created by Almighty God. Afterall, trying to be more like the opposite sex isn’t so very far removed from dressing and acting like the opposite sex!
Ironically, the feminist drive to “empower” women has done quite the opposite. A woman in the workforce is of little value to her company, no matter how well she might do her job; she is but a cog in a machine. If she were to die or quit her job, she’d be replaced in a week or two. But to her husband and children, she is irreplaceable! Her place in the home, at the heart of her family, is a far more valuable and meaningful role than any other job she might have. As King Solomon wrote, “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies” (Prov. 31:10).
The words of the apostle James, written long ago, succinctly sum up the heart of feminism:
13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom.
14 But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth.
15 This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic.
16 For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. (Jam. 3:13-16.)
There is no humility or meekness in feminism; it is motivated purely by envy and self-seeking. Wherever feminist ideology raises its ugly head, confusion and every evil thing are there. It is earthly, sensual, demonic. And that brings us to the title of this post.
The Roots of Feminism
Feminists are discontent with the roles God gave them. If the feminist is a woman, she finds the role of wife and mother to be degrading. She thinks it’s beneath her. She lusts for power and wealth, and she resents the fact that God placed her under her husband’s authority. She believes this, too, is degrading, and she envies her husband. Only in usurping her husband and pursuing her own selfish desires does she believe she’ll find happiness and meaning.
Satan the devil thought the same way. He, too, wasn’t content with the role he’d been given by his Creator. He, too, thought it was demeaning for him to be under the authority of someone else. He was puffed up with pride and thought he deserved better. Though he had great power, wealth, and beauty, it wasn’t enough. He wanted more. And so he decided to usurp his Creator.
Ezek. 28:15-17 records this message from God to Satan:
15 “You were perfect in your ways from the day you were created, till iniquity was found in you.
16 “By the abundance of your trading you became filled with violence within, and you sinned; therefore I cast you as a profane thing out of the mountain of God; and I destroyed you, O covering cherub, from the midst of the fiery stones.
17 “Your heart was lifted up because of your beauty; you corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor; I cast you to the ground, I laid you before kings, that they might gaze at you.”
The Book of Isaiah describes the Satanic mentality thus: “For you have said in your heart: ‘I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God; I will also sit on the mount of the congregation on the farthest sides of the north; I will ascend above the heights of the clouds, I will be like the Most High’” (Isa. 14:13-14).
It isn’t demeaning for anyone to obey Almighty God, nor to obey the authorities which He has established. It isn’t demeaning for Jesus Christ to obey His Father, nor for us to obey Him. But Satan, blinded by pride and envy, decided that it was.
And so the first feminist was none other than Satan the devil! It’s no surprise, then, that many founders of feminism openly admired him, as Kyle Bacher pointed out previously. Here are a few examples, recorded in Faxneld’s Satanic Feminism:
“Satan is the only one who understands me… He is the only one who knows the depths of my despair and the heights of my rebellion.” — Marcy MacLane (1881-1929)
“Satan is the god of femininity, the patron of same-sex lovers.” — Renee Vivien (1877-1909)
“Satan is the great liberator, the embodiment of the divine principle of independence and freedom.” — Helena Blavatsky (1831-1891)
When Satan sought to corrupt mankind and turn human beings against their Creator, his first target was the first woman. He wanted her to doubt God’s words, to think that God was trying to keep her down, and to lust after what she couldn’t have. So he asked her, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?” (Gen. 3:1). When Eve replied that only one tree was forbidden, Satan replied, “God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil” (Gen. 3:5).
Satan’s tactics haven’t changed to this day, nor have those of his followers. “Did God really say that? Are you sure? He must not have actually meant it. Why, how unreasonable that is. How unfair! He’s just trying to keep you down and deny you what you deserve.”
“Christian” sodomites will say, “Did God really say that homosexuality is wrong?” To which we may reply, “Yes, many times in both Old and New Testaments! In fact, God says that there will be no homosexuals in His Kingdom.” And they will respond by claiming that the Bible doesn’t actually mean that, that the words it uses don’t actually mean what they mean, that the Bible was corrupted, etc. That it’s unreasonable and unfair to actually believe and obey what the Bible plainly says.
“Christian” feminists will say, “Did God really say that wives are to be submissive to their husbands?” To which we may reply, “Yes, at least seven times in the New Testament alone!” And they will respond by claiming that the Bible doesn’t actually mean that, that the words it uses don’t actually mean what they mean, that the Bible was corrupted, etc. That it’s unreasonable and unfair to actually believe and obey what the Bible plainly says.
When sodomites claim the Bible doesn’t condemn homosexuality, it’s not because the Bible doesn’t condemn it, but simply because they want to go on living wicked and sinful lives.
When feminists claim the Bible doesn’t tell wives to submit to their husbands, it’s not because the Bible doesn’t say it, but simply because they don’t want to do it.
This is the mind of Satan. It is Satan’s influence combined with our carnal human nature. It’s human nature to devise even the most absurd excuses to disobey our Creator. The carnal human mind rejects God’s instructions “because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be” (Rom. 8:7). We human beings are selfish and evil by nature: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” (Jer. 17:9).
It’s human nature to be selfish and self-seeking, to seek one’s own desires at the expense of others. It’s human nature to be puffed up with pride and to envy others. It’s human nature to exalt oneself, to seek power and authority for oneself, to confuse self-exaltation with attaining value and worth as a human being.
The feminist movement is a manifestation of this same human nature. And ultimately, it springs from the twisted mind of its author and pioneer, Satan the devil.
We all have human nature to contend with and overcome, no matter how long we’ve walked in God’s way of life. No matter how long we’ve had God’s Holy Spirit, no matter how long we’ve been in the “church of God,” that carnal human nature is still there, waiting to raise its ugly head. And Satan is always lurking, looking for a weakness in our spiritual armor where our human nature has eaten through. We must stand guard constantly!
Our focus must be on God and His Kingdom, not on exalting ourselves or pursuing our own selfish desires. The attitude of John the Baptist must be ours also: “He [Christ] must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30). “Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time” (1 Pet. 5:6).
Thanks Brett! I enjoyed reading this. 😊 We are all equally valued by God and everyone you meet is created in his image
ReplyDeleteI would only disagree on one point and the only reason I speak out against it is because it can and does cause harm. God never told wives to be obedient to their husbands. The verses you quoted were mostly from the letters of Paul and one from Peter. Paul and Peter told wives to submit to their husbands not obey them. Submission is done willingly not as a subordinate. God never gave husbands authority over their wives in Torah, these quotes are from letters that were advising followers of Yeshua how to be like Him in a Godless and depraved society.
I’m only pointing out this out because I’ve personally experienced what happens when this supposed “authority” becomes abuse.
I think most people who preach this don’t realize how many women have suffered abuse in multiple forms because of this teaching and I am one of those women. And, I have been told that it is God’s perfect plan to continue to suffer and obey this supposed authority. God’s perfect plan doesn’t require us to endure abuse from someone who calls themselves a believer. ❤️
Thank you for commenting. The Bible never permits husbands to abuse their wives, to force them to obey, to punish them, or any other such thing. It simply tells wives to "submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord" (Eph. 5:22). The wife's submission to her husband is of her own free will, just as our submission to God is of our own free will.
DeleteDoes our submission to God mean that we obey Him? Absolutely! When we submit to the governmental authorities of this nation, does that mean we obey them? Of course! Does a wife's submission to her husband mean that she obeys him? Yes indeed. All the God-fearing women in the Bible did so, just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, as the apostle Peter reminded us (1 Pet. 3:5-6).
Have the Bible's instructions on this, and other matters, been misused? Of course. Have people quoted these verses and ignored the rest of what the Bible says about marriage? Of course. But that doesn't mean it doesn't say what it says, or that it doesn't mean what it says.
Unfortunately, abusive marriages do exist, and that's another matter. The Bible gives other instructions on how to handle these. But the vast majority of marriages are NOT abusive, and the Bible's instructions that husbands love their wives as their own bodies and that wives submit to their husbands "as to the Lord" absolutely apply to any normal marriage.
Thanks Brett! I will have to disagree that the vast majority of marriages are not abusive because so many wives are told to make their husbands look like great guys that the majority of of people don’t realize what’s going on behind closed doors. I married a man who was lying to me since the day we met. I wasn’t fully aware of these lies until much later. He has been cheating on me our entire marriage and so many “christians” told me that I was under his authority and there were no exceptions to this rule. I have read through the entire bible for the last two years and I’m doing it again this year and I still can’t find where God gave us this rule.
DeleteI know you mean well and you love your sisters in Christ and I can’t imagine that you would ever be abusive, but when you preach an authoritarian/hierarchical view of marriage it gives abusive men license to be abusive. These kind of men don’t see the value of women. You did a wonderful job explaining our value in this blogpost but abusive men won’t pay attention to that, they will just filter out the part that they think gives them the authority to be selfish and abusive. I know this to be true because I’ve experienced it for decades and I am not a rare exception. I know lots of people of women who have experienced the same thing. 💔
Hello Anonymous, Although I am not familiar with your situation, it sounds as if you have a lot of pain and anger from what your husband has done. From that perspective I can understand where you are coming from. It seems though, that you are blaming your husband's bad behavior on what the Bible says even though your husband's bad behavior is the result of NOT following what the Bible says. The Bible never ever gives men a license to abuse their wives, but rather to love them as Christ does the church. And yes, Christ has authorithy over us. Our Creator designed marriage to help us better understand the relationship between us and Him. He has authority over us, but we still willingly submit to Him, this is what a healthy marriage should look like. I am sorry that yours is not this way, but for you to twist and disregard what the Bible says is not needed to justify your anger and pain. Instead of blaming the Bible for your situation, blame the rejection of Biblical principles. And make sure that you never stoop to the level of abandoning those principles as well. I wish you all the best and I hope that someday you will see firsthand what a healthy marriage looks like.
DeleteThank you Timothy!
DeleteGod doesn’t actually say that wives have to obey their husbands but abusive men have twisted the words of Paul and Peter to justify the expectation of unconditional obedience from their wives which is abuse. I have not taken any command of God and twisted it to say that I shouldn’t have to obey it, I have spoken out against the twisting of scripture that enables abuse. Quite a few of your sisters in Christ are suffering under the abuse of men who call themselves followers of Christ and have twisted these scriptures to justify their actions. The verbal, emotional, financial, and sexual abuse that I have suffered is not a rare exception it is far more common that you may realize. Maybe none of the men in your life would ever dream of treating their wives this way, and I certainly hope that’s the case, but I can guarantee that you are acquainted with men in church circles that appear good on the outside but are far from good at home and use the twisting of scripture to justify it. 💔
To clarify, the part of this article that would make abusive men feel entitled to their wives’ unconditional obedience is this line, “As part of this design, God tells wives to be “obedient to their own husbands” (Tit. 2:5). At least seven times in the New Testament, God commands wives to submit to and obey their husbands”, you then go on to site the words of Paul and Peter, not any command of God. Paul definitely advised wives to willingly serve (submit to) their husbands, which is good advice, while also advising husbands to love their wives like Christ loved the church (which is an actual command from Christ, John 13:34). To site Paul’s advice to wives without also including his advice to husbands at the same time can make Paul’s advice sound one-sided and makes abusive men feel justified in expecting unconditional obedience from their wives.
ReplyDeleteI’m only pointing out his out because I think you probably don’t realize the damage it can do to your sisters in Christ. 🙂
You are right that any study of marriage must include the Bible's instructions to both husbands and wives, not just one or the other. To focus only on the instructions for wives, or only on the instructions for husbands, while neglecting the other half, would give a very distorted picture.
DeleteHowever, this post is about feminism, and not specifically about marriage. As such, it is primarily focused on women and on Satan's attacks on femininity and the family structure. Similarly, if I were to write a post about Biblical masculinity, it probably wouldn't have much, if anything, to say about women or God's instructions for them.
Finally, it's important to remember that the words of Paul and Peter ARE the words of God, just as much as the words of Moses, David, Isaiah, or any of the other prophets. "The household of God" is "built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ Himself being the chief cornerstone" (Eph. 2:19, 20). And the New Jerusalem in Rev. 21:14 is built on twelve foundations on which are inscribed the names of the twelve apostles.
In 2 Thes. 3:14, Paul wrote, "And if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed." And Peter, in 2 Pet. 3:16, described Paul's writings as Scripture.
The apostles and prophets were not like you and me, who study and comment on the Scriptures. Their words ARE Scripture, given by the direct inspiration of God! "All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work" (2 Tim. 3:16-17).
As a woman, I would like to reply to the first woman's comments. This woman stated that the quotes from Paul and Peter that told wives to submit to their husbands were "from letters that were advising followers of Yeshua how to be like Him in a Godless and depraved society." I agree. We, too, are living in a godless and depraved society, and we, too, need the instructions from Paul and Peter regarding how to be like Yeshua. So what did Paul and Peter have to say about submission and obedience? Is it true that God never told wives to be obedient to their husbands?
DeleteIn Tit. 2:5, Paul told the older women to teach the younger women, to, among other things, be "obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed." The word "obedient" is 5293, which means to subordinate or obey, according to Strong's. Thayer's says it means "To arrange under, to subordinate; to subject one's self, to obey."
This word is translated variously as subject, submit, obey, obedient, etc. In Eph. 5:22-25, Paul said, "Wives, submit [5293] to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Messiah is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject [5293] to Messiah, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." I can guarantee that if the church (congregation) is subject to Messiah, it is not telling Him what to do, or refusing to do what He says to do.
This word, 5293, is translated as "made subject," "be subject," and "put under" in 1 Cor. 15:27-28: "For 'He HAS PUT all things UNDER [5293] His feet.' But when He says 'all things ARE PUT UNDER [5293] Him,' it is evident that He who PUT all things UNDER [5293] Him is excepted. Now when all things are MADE SUBJECT [5293] to Him, then the Son Himself will also BE SUBJECT [5293] to Him who PUT all things UNDER [5293] Him, that God may be all in all." If all things are put under Yeshua, that means that all things are under His authority.
Eph. 1:22-23 says: "And He PUT all things UNDER [5293] His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all." If something is the head, it is in charge--the authority that everything else must submit to.
Apparently my first comment was too long for me to publish the whole thing, so I will finish it here:
ReplyDelete1 Pet. 3:1,5-6: "Wives, likewise, be SUBMISSIVE [5293] to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, . . . (5) For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being SUBMISSIVE [5293] to their own husbands, (6) as Sarah OBEYED [5219] Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror." [The Interlinear renders v. 6 as: "as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, of whom you became daughters, doing good and fearing no terror."]
The word used for obeyed here is 5219, which Strong's says means, "To hear under (as a subordinate), i.e. to listen attentively; by impl. to heed or conform to a command or authority." Thayer's says that it means, "To listen, hearken; to hearken to a command, i.e. to obey, be obedient unto, submit to." To submit is to yield to "the power, will or authority of another," "To surrender; to yield one's person to the power of another; to give up resistance," and "To be submissive; to yield without murmuring" (Webster's 1828 Dictionary). To obey is to comply or submit.
It is interesting that the only example of Sarah calling Abraham "lord" was in Gen. 18:12. Abraham had just been told that Sarah his wife would have a son. "Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, 'After I have grown old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?'" Sarah was talking to herself when she called Abraham lord. She was so accustomed to recognizing him as her master (lord) that she called him that even when talking to herself!
What is it about Sarah that we are supposed to copy? Sarah was obedient to Abraham even when it would have been difficult. She obeyed when she twice had to tell rulers that Abraham was her brother, even though that meant that she was taken away from her husband. There is no indication that she whined or complained about it, just that she obeyed. How was she able to do that? Because she was one of the "holy women who trusted in God." She trusted that if she obeyed God by obeying her husband, God would take care of her. That is the only way that she could have obeyed, "fearing no terror." And she is held up as an example for us, as her daughters, to follow.
I will now finish my comment with part 3:
ReplyDeleteThe first commenter stated that "God never gave husbands authority over their wives in the Torah." Gen. 2:18: "And Yhwh God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.'"
Helper is Strong's #5828 and means aid, help, succour (aid, help, assistance). Comparable is Strong's #5048, and means a front, a counterpart, opposite. According to Webster's 1828 Dictionary, a counterpart is "The correspondent part; . . . the part which fits another, as the key of a cipher. In music, the part to be applied to another; as, the base is the counterpart to the treble." The bass and the treble are opposites, but they harmonize, balancing out the other. What a beautiful picture of what a marriage should be!
When God created marriage, He also instructed the first man and woman regarding how to conduct themselves in that marriage. If the woman is the assistant, or the helper, then she is not the authority--the one in charge. She is under the authority of the one who is in charge. If your child helps you fix something, who is the one in charge?
I used to think that God gave women the more difficult job. After all, it is not easy to submit to a man. He makes mistakes. He doesn't always make the wisest decisions.
Then I realized that a man has an incredibly difficult job as well. He has to learn how to lead a family. If that family (or even just the wife) complains and resists him, how can he lead? How can he learn to be a good leader if no one will follow? Can a general lead his troops if they refuse to follow? How easy was it for Moses when the children of Israel were in constant rebellion against him, and against God?
Neither a man nor a woman starts out doing their God-given jobs perfectly. It takes practice. A man becomes a better leader through practice (as long as his wife lets him lead), and his wife becomes better at cheerfully submitting to his leadership through practice. God saw to it that we would both get plenty of practice.
Yeshua is the same yesterday, today and forever (Heb. 13:8); He does not change (Mal. 3:6). God gave authority in a marriage to the husband, and the fact that some men misuse their God-given authority does not negate that authority. The way God established a marriage to function is a beautiful picture of Yeshua and His bride. She will help Him, not rule over Him.
Excellent comments! Thank you for weighing in.
DeleteGood discussion!
ReplyDeleteIf God issued a command in Genesis 2:18 when he said that man should have a strong helper equal to him and that means a woman must obey her husband and Sarah was an example of this obedience, (while ignoring the fact that God told Abraham to obey Sarah, Genesis 21:12), but people in this discussion also said that God never condoned abuse, where does God give the caveats to his rule of obedience? Does he somewhere say what qualifies as abuse and then a particular wife in that situation doesn’t have to obey her husband if he’s abusive?
I know you were addressing feminism, Brett and that’s why you only mention what Paul said to women but me hearing those verses pulled out of context like that is what made me think I was supposed to tolerate my husband’s abuse and be okay with him calling me names or squandering all the money when I was afraid of our children being homeless. My husband threw those verses at me too and threatened me if I didn’t obey him.
Words of God in scripture that come to one of his servants start with something like “The word of God came to _______”, or “The LORD spoke to Moses, saying, ’Tell the children of Israel ……’”. The epistles don’t say anything like that to my knowledge.
Paul, Peter or any other epistle writers were not telling wives to be unconditionally obedient to their husbands or making wives the same as slaves or children, because God would never say that. I’m sure it angers God when any of his daughters are being abused just as it should anger us if our daughter or sister were being abused and told that just because he is male you are his subordinate and therefore have to do whatever he says. And it angers God that the words in scripture are twisted to enable this kind of abuse 💔
You keep coming back to abuse, yet just ignore the plain scriptures that are pointed out to you regarding a woman's obligation to submit to her husband. If your husband is truly abusing you, why don't you leave instead of spending all of your time railing against him? I say "if" only because some women (probably many) claim that their husbands are abusing them if their husbands ever don't let them have their way.
DeleteThere is more than one side to every story. There is your perspective regarding what is going on, there is your husband's perspective, there is your children's and friends' perspectives, and there is God's perspective. Only God knows the whole truth. A woman's perspective can also be colored by many things at certain times of life. During times of hormonal imbalance or upheaval, such as during parts of pregnancy, after giving birth, during perimenopause, during the monthly cycle, etc., a woman does not always see things rationally (but of course she does not realize that she is not being rational). At any other time, she might see the same events differently, but at those times she can be emotionally incapable of recognizing that. As a woman, I know that that is the case, and I have seen it in other women. The more unbalanced a woman's hormones are, the more irrational and emotional she becomes. I guess it's a good thing that God didn't put the wife in charge.
If children are involved, you need to be especially careful to make sure that you are doing what God has told you, as a woman, to do. Your children need to see you treat your husband the way God said to. You cannot change your husband, but you CAN make sure that you are changing the things about yourself that are not in line with God's word. If you don't look at and change yourself, you don't have a leg to stand on when you complain about your husband. If you are truly doing these things, in addition to obeying God's other commands, God will help you with your miserable marriage.
If you just keep complaining about your husband, but doing nothing to help, you will destroy your family. Your children will see your lack of respect for and lack of submission to your husband, and they may follow your example and have miserable marriages themselves, or they may hate you for the way they saw you treat their father (regardless of the reason). "A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish woman tears it down with her hands" (Prov. 14:1).
As mentioned in this post, no human authority has any right to require disobedience to God. Not governments, not parents, not elders, not husbands, not anyone. So that's the most basic and obvious limitation on human authority.
DeleteAs for marriage specifically, God never required either husbands or wives to tolerate infidelity; this is grounds for divorce (Mat. 5:32; 19:9).
Outside of that, the Bible also gives guidelines on what to do if a brother (or sister) is sinning against you (Mat. 18:15-35). All people sin, of course; that's not what this is about. It's about handling someone who's truly doing you evil, or has done you evil, without a change of heart.
What are some of these sins? Reviling (verbal abuse), lying, extortion, and drunkenness, among others (1 Cor. 5:9-13). These are terrible sins which, if not repented of, will keep a person out of God's Kingdom (1 Cor. 6:9-10; Rev. 21:8). Seeking help from the congregation of God is not only for one's own relief, but in the hope of bringing about repentance from the sinner also.
No one should return "evil for evil or reviling for reviling" (1 Pet. 3:9), nor should we seek revenge (Rom. 12:19). Someone else's sins are not a license for us to sin also. Nevertheless, the Bible does offer guidelines on how to handle evil behavior from others, especially those who claim to be believers, and that applies to spouses as well.
And if we're faithful to God, then He can also deliver His people, including from abusive spouses, in many different ways. He may provide a way out, He may remove people from our lives, He may touch the person's heart and bring about repentance; deliverance can come in many different forms. But He hears the prayers of His people, and He can and does deliver.
Also, a passage of Scripture doesn't have to say "Thus says the Lord" or anything similar in order to be His words. Nothing similar to that is found in most of the Psalms or in many other books of the Bible. Yet Jesus Christ gave them all the weight of Scripture, inspired words of God. If it's Scripture, then it's the Word of God. Simple as that.
DeleteI do keep coming back to abuse because it’s the reason I spoke out in the first place. No one has been able to show me “plain scripture” that says very obviously (preferably in Torah, our instruction book), that being male gives you authority over your wife, or that she needs to be obedient like a subordinate.
ReplyDeleteGoing to the church for help doesn’t always help, because some church members feel like this is the will of God for a woman to suffer if her husband is jerk because he has authority. And, the jerk-y men feel entitled to behave as badly as they want because they automatically have authority simply because they were born with male body parts.
God sees the awful things my husband has done behind closed doors. My kids didn’t see it until recently because I finally quit tolerating it so now he’s doing it in front of them to try and manipulate me. And yet, some people blame me for his terrible behavior. I don’t need to defend myself to anyone because God knows my heart. He has shown me who he created me to be and has encouraged me to stand firm. He is for me no matter who may be against me.
I only spoke up because I thought maybe you didn’t realize the harm that can me done to your sisters
I do keep coming back to abuse because it’s the reason I spoke out in the first place. No one has been able to show me “plain scripture” that says very obviously (preferably in Torah, our instruction book), that being male gives you authority over your wife, or that she needs to be obedient like a subordinate.
ReplyDeleteGoing to the church for help doesn’t always help, because some church members feel like this is the will of God for a woman to suffer if her husband is jerk because he has authority. And, the jerk-y men feel entitled to behave as badly as they want because they automatically have authority simply because they were born with male body parts.
God sees the awful things my husband has done behind closed doors. My kids didn’t see it until recently because I finally quit tolerating it so now he’s doing it in front of them to try and manipulate me. And yet, some people blame me for his terrible behavior. I don’t need to defend myself to anyone because God knows my heart. He has shown me who he created me to be and has encouraged me to stand firm. He is for me no matter who may be against me.
I only spoke up because I thought maybe you didn’t realize the harm that can me done to your sisters
I always like to look back to Genesis, and the creation of life, and the order in which He created. Man first, then woman. “A helper comparable to him” Gen 2:18,20. And after the fall (in which the woman was deceived, but not the man, who went along with his wife), and what God had said to both of them.
Delete“And He said to the woman: ‘I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.’”
Gen 3:16
To me, as a woman, this states it pretty clearly that husbands have authority over their wives, whether the word “authority” was used or not. We still have birth pains as stated in the same verse. And we still eat from the produce of the ground that is stated in the next verse. It was never a curse to man, to the serpent yes. God was making a statement, a judgement to all mankind, saying that this is how things are to be from this point on.
You seem pretty passionate about this subject, and I’m not trying to convince you to think differently. All I’m saying is that from the beginning, the order has been stated. Regardless of how others have abused the perfect design that the Creator of the everything has established.
I’ve seen woman be abused by this, and it’s so sad to see it happen, but I’ve also seen woman be happier then ever when both man and woman fulfill their respective roles correctly. With man being the head, woman being the body, the way our Savior is the head, and us the body of Christ, the way God intended.
I’m sorry you have had to go through what you have, and I’m sorry your children have now been exposed to it. But I hope that one day you can experience healing, and the true presence of God in your marriage.
Have a blessed day!