Killing Ego

Our walk with God, our relationship with our Creator is the most important thing in our lives. It’s the most important relationship we will ever have, and we share this relationship with thousands of other Christians who all come together to form the “Body of Christ.” Or that is what is supposed to happen. That is what is supposed to happen, but it is as rare as a hen's teeth. 

We are all supposed to be a team working together to further our mission, supporting and encouraging one another, but that is rarely what actually happens, and for one simple reason: us. 

The problem is us! Rather, it is that portion of ourselves that we have named the Ego, and it hates teams. Even if our Ego gets to be the team's leader, it still does not like the team. It wants to be the star of the show, and it wants to do it alone. No one else can possibly be as good as us in whatever capacity we are functioning, and everyone else is just there to make us look good. 

A team cannot function or accomplish the mission if one person’s Ego gets in the way. It will disrupt the whole team and cripple it severely. A person is not the only entity who can acquire an Ego, however. Any team, organization, or congregation can acquire a collective Ego that prevents it from functioning with another group. This is more serious than you might think, especially when we turn to focus directly on the congregational aspect. A congregational Ego can destroy a congregation pretty easily, and it creates a bitter taste that will drive away newly interested and longtime members alike. 

If someone seeking the truth of God leaves a congregation, it will usually not be because that congregation is teaching difficult things or speaking “hard truths.” No, this person was already seeking the truth, hungry, starving for the truth, desperate to hear the truth! Hearing the truth is not what drives someone like this away, it’s when the congregation has an Ego. No one likes to try to be part of a group that thinks they are better than everyone else, or thinks that they have more knowledge or all the knowledge. 

People want to be part of a humble group, a group that is always learning, and most of all, a group that is teaching those hard truths because that is what the person was looking for in the first place! People are hungry and they are looking to be fed.

This Ego, whether collective or on an individual level is what is known as self-righteousness or pride in the Bible, and the Bible has quite a lot to say about such things. What is self-righteousness?

Well, in my post about righteousness, I described the opposite of self-righteousness. Righteousness comes from obedience to God and forgiveness from Him, while self-righteousness is attributing our goodness to ourselves and our own efforts. This is like a pilot claiming that he can fly on his own without the airplane. He may have a lot of knowledge and skill in flying, but without the plane, he would still be sitting on the ground.

Similarly, as Christians, we are only in the air because of God’s Spirit, mercy, and forgiveness. All the knowledge and obedience in the world wouldn't get us anywhere without these key things. Righteousness is only possible through God, and true knowledge and understanding begin and end with Him.

Yet, we still get puffed up about our own knowledge and abilities in the Bible and God’s way, and our own righteousness fills us with pride. We think we have all the knowledge, all the answers, and all the righteousness there is to be had. As I said earlier, this spirit can infect any collective body as well, and many of the congregations believe themselves to have more knowledge and understanding than any other congregation out there.

Quite a few people actually recognize this hypocrisy and have one of three responses, disillusionment with all religion, disillusionment with obedience, or disillusionment with other believers, and, in their quest to get away from the self-righteousness exhibited by the collective, they run off by themselves into the bushes believing themselves to be the right ones… and they run right back into the arms of Ego. Self-righteousness is waiting for them there too. 

The correct response brings us face to face with the harsh truth that we have an Ego that needs to be done away with, that righteousness comes from God, and that we owe our salvation to Him. This is tempered with the dichotomy of obedience. The basic act of conversion, of converting from the way of the world to the way of God requires that we put our Ego to death. We cannot follow God and be obedient to Him if our Ego is still hopping about. Obedience to God demands that we submit our will to the Father’s just as Christ did. The Ego will not stand for this. 

James 4:6-7 NKJV But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: "God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble." 

7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

Once we submit to God, we must resist the pull of our old way of life as it tries to draw us back in, as Satan tries to take us down once and for all. This is not easy to do, but do it we must. We work out our own salvation through obedience and adherence to God’s standards. That is one of the main reasons the law was given in the first place. 

Philippians 2:12-13 NKJV Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; 

13 for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for [His] good pleasure.

Again this obedience is through the power and influence of the Spirit of God. We achieve this by drawing near to God and using the laws He gave us to order our lives. 

Psalm 119:9 NKJV How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word.

James 4:8 NKJV Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse [your] hands, [you] sinners; and purify [your] hearts, [you] double-minded.

Similar to the story of the prodigal son, God is there just waiting for us to draw near to Him and then He will draw near to us, run out to us, and embrace us! We have to make the first step. We have the plane, but we still have to fly it. We must do so without becoming self-righteous, and therein lies the difficulty. Ego is standing right there to get in our way, and he does so at every opportunity. Our Ego will prevent God from hearing us.

Job 35:12 NKJV There they cry out, but He does not answer, Because of the pride of evil men.

See, we’ve already had to put away Ego through so much of this process, but if we are to cleanse our way as the Psalm says, then we must have a pure heart and a pure mind. If we want God to hear us, we’ve got to get our pride in check.

James 4:8b NKJV Cleanse [your] hands, [you] sinners; and purify [your] hearts, [you] double-minded.

Ego does not allow this to happen. We start to take notice of how well we are doing and it trips us up with pride. We think more highly of ourselves than we should and it immediately gets us into trouble. God has offered us all the help we need and we don’t use it like we should because our pride gets in our way. 

Ego is the greatest enemy a team faces.  It doesn’t matter whether that team is made up of soldiers or church members, Ego will always destroy the team. Our own way and our pride will destroy the team, which means the team cannot accomplish the mission. The mission is bringing the gospel of the Kingdom to a starving and dying world, the only lifeline it has. Ninety percent of that spreading happens through our example. Disputes and divisions in the Church destroy the example we are trying to set. We can’t even put down our Ego for each other!

Philippians 2:14-15 NKJV Do all things without complaining and disputing, 

15 that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world,

A poor example demonstrated in these matters is the result of the Egos running wild in the congregation. Our way is the biggest thing that gets in the way of going God’s way. When we decide that our way trumps God’s way, we will always run into trouble. 

James 3:13-17 NKJV Who [is] wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct [that] his works [are done] in the meekness of wisdom. 

14 But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. 

15 This wisdom does not descend from above, but [is] earthly, sensual, demonic. 

16 For where envy and self-seeking [exist], confusion and every evil thing [are] there. 

17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.

Seeking our own way contrary to the way laid out in the Bible is demonic when it gets right down to it, and demonstrates a poor example to the world around us of how a body of Christians function. It destroys any ability we have to carry out the mission we have been tasked with, and it fails to present a unified front to those whom we are supposed to be witnessing! People notice when we preach one thing and then don’t live it, and it destroys any influence our message might have had because our example doesn’t line up with what we are preaching!!!

Titus 3:5 NKJV not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit,

Ephesians 5:25-27 NKJV Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 

26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 

27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

If we succeed in achieving a pure heart and a pure mind by the cleansing of the Holy Spirit washing us with the water of the word, the next step is complete humility. It is the natural byproduct of submitting our will to the Father, cleansing our hearts and minds with His word, and killing our Ego. We will be back in the book of James for this, and by a matter of further reading, the whole book of James has a ton to say about how not to be self-righteous.

James 4:10 NKJV Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.

As we humble ourselves God will exalt us and give us a reward far exceeding anything we could have had in this life. Again, this humility comes through giving our will up and taking on the will of God as our own. 

In point of fact, the Ego is the source of every other sin, and with few sins is this more evident than with the sin of gossip. Gossip is one of the greatest poisons that ever destroyed a congregation, circle of friends, or family. We love to hear stories about others that make them seem less righteous than us, and even worse, we love to spread stories like this. Gossip is always malicious overtly or in its undercurrents. Another word for it is slander, and this embodies what gossip is far more pointedly than the harmless word that gossip seems to be with us. 

Exodus 20:16 NKJV — “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

Gossip is bearing false witness against our brothers and sisters and has incredible potential for harm and damage. We are supposed to love our brothers and sisters, yet gossip does the opposite of that. Remember, love believes all things, or believes the best of our brothers and sisters. We shouldn't even believe the stories we hear come by, but God forbid we repeat them! We should trust that we know our brothers and sisters better than that, and that is why an accusation against a brother in Christ should only be received by the mouth of two or three first-hand witnesses, and then serious action needs to be taken, not a mere repeating of tales. 

1 Corinthians 13:5-7 NKJV (Love) does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Spreading false and malicious statements is not acceptable behavior for Christians to partake in, and all stories that cast someone in a poor light should be believed to be false until proven otherwise by more than one witness. I learned this the hard way (which seems to be my preferred method of learning). My cousins and I were involved with some people who spread stories back and forth between us and turned us on each other, and they were only able to do so because we believed a virtual stranger over the people we should have known and trusted implicitly. That's been a number of years ago now, but the reason I bring it up is because of the reason these people were able to do that to us. You guessed it, self-righteousness. Our Egos delighted in hearing something negative and relished the opportunity to feel superior to each other. The greatest manipulation tactics always leverage the Ego to achieve their goals. 

We have to keep our Ego in check or we will end up in serious trouble, not to mention at odds with God. The Ego is an arrogant creature, in fact, arrogance is a primary trait of the Ego. It's fed by flattery and loves to maneuver others into giving it praise. The Ego always seeks its own in whatever the situation may be. As we saw in 1st Corinthians, that is contrary to love.

Proverbs 27:2 NKJV — Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; A stranger, and not your own lips.

Romans 12:3 NKJV — For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.

What about arrogance? 

What does God think about our Ego?

Proverbs 16:5 NKJV — Everyone proud in heart is an abomination to the LORD; Though they join forces, none will go unpunished.

That's rough! In this scripture and the ones we are about to go through, it is easy to see that God hates arrogance! Similar to how we might find a cocky child unbearably irritating and have an urge to smack them.

Proverbs 8:13 NKJV — The fear of the LORD is to hate evil; Pride and arrogance and the evil way And the perverse mouth I hate.

If we get too full of ourselves we will be brought low just as God brought the great king of Babylon low. We have to stay humble because that is how we stay close to God. He resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. We will fall if our Ego is not in check. 

Proverbs 16:18 NKJV — Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall.

Part of staying humble is holding others with more esteem and of higher regard than we do ourselves. As men, that is a vital part of good leadership. Giving regard to the opinions of others, holding them in high regard, and having value as children of God are character traits that a good leader must develop. We need to be teachable ourselves.

Philippians 2:3 NKJV — Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.

Proverbs 29:23 NKJV — A man’s pride will bring him low, But the humble in spirit will retain honor.

Conceit is not a proper base to do anything from, and it is a terrible base to try to lead from. It drives us to rely on our own wisdom as the only true wisdom and separates us from the wisdom of God. 

Romans 12:16 NKJV — Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.

Proverbs 26:12 NKJV — Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Proverbs 29:9 NKJV — If a wise man contends with a foolish man, Whether the fool rages or laughs, there is no peace.

Proverbs 18:2 NKJV — A fool has no delight in understanding, But in expressing his own heart.

Relying on our own wisdom and holding our opinion above all others is stupid! It is stupid! We make ourselves fools when we let our Ego drive us to ignore all sound wisdom, especially the wisdom of God. That is an important distinction to make as well. Wisdom of God trumps all other sources of wisdom and advice. It doesn't matter what title someone holds, their position of authority, or their age, what gives their wisdom and teaching credence or takes it away is its foundation in the Bible. 

If little Timmy gets up and delivers a message based on the Bible, or gives an opinion based completely on the Bible, his opinion is valid, even above the opinion of a seventy-year-old minister whose opinion is based purely on his own wisdom. This is what the Psalms refer to when they say that God’s word makes us wiser than our teachers. Our Ego will likely discount Timmy's opinion because of his age, as all older people discount the opinion of those younger than themselves, but that is the harm that Ego brings. 

One of the prominent situations this came about is in the story of Job. In the 31st chapter of the book of Job, the man himself declares his own righteousness and calls the righteousness of God into question. The next five chapters from 32 to 37 contain a young man’s response to the righteous Job. We will briefly go through these chapters here, though I would encourage you to read all five on your own. 

We get our introduction to Elihu in the first part verses of chapter 32. Elihu is something of a mystery in this book, and he appears out of nowhere and disappears just as quickly. Even though he is a young man, his wisdom is undeniable, and he clearly has a great love for God. 

Job 32:1-2 NKJV So these three men ceased answering Job, because he [was] righteous in his own eyes. 

2 Then the wrath of Elihu, the son of Barachel the Buzite, of the family of Ram, was aroused against Job; his wrath was aroused because he justified himself rather than God.

The wrath of Elihu was aroused because Job justified himself rather than God. In other words, Job was self-righteous. Elihu goes on to declare his youth and how he waited for age to speak forth with wisdom, but it did not come.

Job 32:6-9 NKJV So Elihu, the son of Barachel the Buzite, answered and said: "I [am] young in years, and you [are] very old; Therefore I was afraid, And dared not declare my opinion to you. 

7 I said, 'Age should speak, And multitude of years should teach wisdom.' 

8 But [there is] a spirit in man, And the breath of the Almighty gives him understanding. 

9 Great men are not [always] wise, Nor do the aged [always] understand justice. 

These are some of the wisest words in the book that we would do well to keep close to memory. True wisdom comes from the Spirit of God, and God gives us understanding. Greatness and age do not always bring wisdom, and the wisdom of God is always superior to the wisdom of man. Even Paul, in writing to Timothy encouraged him by telling him to let no one despise him because of his youth. Elihu has a problem with Job’s self-righteousness, and he declares it pretty clearly and with great wisdom.

Job 33:8-9, 12 NKJV "Surely you have spoken in my hearing, And I have heard the sound of [your] words, [saying], 

9 'I [am] pure, without transgression; I [am] innocent, and [there is] no iniquity in me. ... 

12 "Look, [in] this you are not righteous. I will answer you, For God is greater than man.

God is greater than man! In His great mercy, He offers redemption and salvation to men if they repent and turn from their ways. He will restore them to His righteousness, the only true righteousness that exists in the universe.

Job 33:22-25 NKJV Yes, his soul draws near the Pit, And his life to the executioners. 

23 "If there is a messenger for him, A mediator, one among a thousand, To show man His uprightness, 

24 Then He is gracious to him, and says, 'Deliver him from going down to the Pit; I have found a ransom'; 

25 His flesh shall be young like a child's, He shall return to the days of his youth.

Here we have a picture of Christ and a prophecy of our future as spirit beings, way back in Job! The ancients were no strangers to the idea of salvation, quite the opposite. They knew the hope they had in a future Redeemer, and in the eternal life promised from the beginning.

Job 33:26-28 KJV He shall pray unto God, and he will be favourable unto him: and he shall see his face with joy: for he will render unto man his righteousness. 

27 He looketh upon men, and [if any] say, I have sinned, and perverted [that which was] right, and it profited me not; 

28 He will deliver his soul from going into the pit, and his life shall see the light.

According to Elihu and Job, the concepts of redemption and salvation are not topics new to the people of Christ’s day. The concept of true righteousness coming only from God is not new either. This is important to note, and we would do well to remember it. 

Job 35:2, 6-7 NKJV "Do you think this is right? Do you say, 'My righteousness is more than God's'? ... 

6 If you sin, what do you accomplish against Him? Or, [if] your transgressions are multiplied, what do you do to Him? 

7 If you are righteous, what do you give Him? Or what does He receive from your hand?

Job had committed some pretty serious sins by this point and even declared his righteousness to be more than God’s. We can see how stupid this is quite easily, but when we get into our own lives how often do we declare this about ourselves in one form or another?

Simply by declaring our way better than God’s we declare our righteousness to be more than His. 

Our Ego will lead to our failure and disgrace if we allow it to run about unchecked, but with humility, we will be able to hear an opinion from anyone and hold the opinion of God as higher than our own. Then wisdom will come and dwell with us. 

Proverbs 11:2 NKJV — When pride comes, then comes shame; But with the humble is wisdom.

Proverbs 18:12 NKJV — Before destruction the heart of a man is haughty, And before honor is humility.

Proverbs 29:23 NKJV — A man’s pride will bring him low, But the humble in spirit will retain honor.

Psalm 59:12 NKJV — For the sin of their mouth and the words of their lips, Let them even be taken in their pride, And for the cursing and lying which they speak.

Isaiah 2:12 NKJV — For the day of the LORD of hosts Shall come upon everything proud and lofty, Upon everything lifted up— And it shall be brought low—

As we saw with gossip, one of the most prominent ways our Ego manifests is in our treatment of others, especially with the way we speak. God will judge us for our pride, and He will bring about our destruction because of it. He hardly even needs to lift a hand, however, because as our pride separates us from Him, we will bring destruction upon ourselves. Self-righteousness brings us to a point at the peak of our own pride that leads to the ultimate evil. We reach a point where we find ourselves so wise that we become fools and declare there is no God. 

Psalms 10:4 NKJV The wicked in his proud countenance does not seek [God]; God [is] in none of his thoughts. 

Psalms 59:12 NKJV [For] the sin of their mouth [and] the words of their lips, Let them even be taken in their pride, And for the cursing and lying [which] they speak.

Psalm 14:1 NKJV To the Chief Musician. [A Psalm] of David. The fool has said in his heart, "[There is] no God." They are corrupt, They have done abominable works, There is none who does good.

At the very least, arrogance drives many Christians away from keeping the law of God. They believe their own way is better and believe the law has disappeared, in a way declaring their own righteousness to be more than God’s, and their wisdom greater than His.

Psalm 119:21 NKJV You rebuke the proud--the cursed, Who stray from Your commandments.

Most of us don’t reach this point in our pride and self-righteousness, but we still do great damage to our spiritual walk through pride and arrogance. We all see ourselves in a better light than we view others in, and we give ourselves the benefit of the doubt when it comes to doing right or wrong. We all have an excuse why we did or did not do something, and we judge ourselves as lightly as possible. When we do something good, something that is perhaps only a bit above the normal behavior, we usually look down on those who do not rise to that standard. 

It's wrong to stray from God's commands, but we all do it. There is a way to correct others in love that does not allow our ego to rise up and take control. The Ego seeks the destruction of others because rather than putting in the work to become better, it is lazy and drags others down below us, usually through gossip and the words we say. Our goal ought to be to be better so that we can lift others and inspire them to a higher level, not get jealous when they are better, faster, or achieve more than we do. 

We have no easy task here since the Ego is one of the hardest parts of our human nature to rule over, but it’s vital to our relationship with God that we do so. The opposite of our Ego is humility, and the best way to stay humble is to get our focus off ourselves and put it where it actually belongs: on God and on those around us. Everyone around us is suffering just like we are, and they have been offered the grace of God just as we have. We have no reason for pride and when our focus is taken off ourselves, our Ego will have nothing to feed on and it will wither up and die.   

As we saw earlier, allowing our Ego to run around free will lead to separation from God and it will make us wise in our own eyes. We will find ourselves making our own mind into a god, and doing whatever is right in our own eyes, just as the Israelites did so long ago. Just as with a single person, so can it happen with any group of people. A congregation, or board, or government, can become so self-righteous, so full of Ego, that they become a veritable god to themselves and any atrocity becomes possible, even to leaving God's laws, or as a group, genocide. It's far too easy for us to become the arbiters of right and wrong and to use the Bible to excuse what we want to do rather than use the Bible to show us where we need to change. 

Most of us don't bow down to a literal idol in this day and age, but it is far too easy for us to make a god out of ourselves or the things we want. Our Ego is always trying to inflate itself to this position, and the main one we all fall prey to is gossiping about others. We must be on guard and on the lookout for Ego rearing his ugly head and we must put him down before he ever gets a foothold in our life, and we have to cut gossip out of our lives. Listening to it or telling it will strengthen our Ego or have us hearing things about ourselves that we really shouldn't be hearing. Allowing our Ego to become inflated is one of the greatest mistakes we can make. It is vital that we remember that we are only in the air in the first place, not because of how great we are, but by the power and mercy of God's spirit. When it comes right down to it, we have to put our Ego to death so that we may have a relationship with our Creator.