Soul Poison

 

We all have people in this life that we find hard to be around, people that we strongly dislike and would enjoy seeing trip over a rake or two. Most of us probably have great reasons for thinking what we think about these people, too. They may have hurt us, or said something nasty about us, or they were downright awful to us, but our reasons for holding it against them are pretty good solid reasons, at least, they are in our minds. As humans, we are great at holding grudges, and we are awful at letting things go. What's the harm in holding things against someone? Our thoughts don't hurt anyone, do they? 

It's true that our thoughts don't really affect the other person, at least right away. Eventually, it might lead to us being nasty towards them or hurting them, but they probably deserved that pie in the face anyways. We are Christians, though, and as Christians, we have an obligation to be Christ-like (that's what Christian means). Being Christlike means we walk in step with the Holy Spirit, and we find out how to do that by reading the Word of God. 

Psalm 119:105 CSB — Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light on my path.

In this particular case, the Bible has quite a lot to say about holding grudges. Simply put, they aren't good. They aren't good for us at all. Christ told us to forgive those who trespass against us. He didn't say only if they asked for it, either. Now, why would that make a difference? True forgiveness isn't merely a word; it's an action, and simply telling someone that you forgive them doesn't really change anything. It's a good start, to be sure, but that's all it is: a start. They don't know one way or the other whether or not we truly forgive them. In fact, they go their way as happy as a clam, thinking everything is good, when in fact, we still deeply resent them. They could very well be ignorant of this resentment for the rest of their lives, and it wouldn't affect them one bit. They think they are forgiven after all. 

For our part, however, we know we still resent them, and we will absolutely not forget what they did. As much as we say we forgave them, we really don't want to let go of that grudge because, in a weird way we actually enjoy having the grudge, and if we gave them another chance, they might do it again! This doesn't bode well for us because our forgiveness depends upon our ability to forgive others.

Matthew 6:14-15 CSB — “For if you forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will forgive you as well. “But if you don’t forgive others, your Father will not forgive your offenses.

That's pretty heavy stuff right there, now, isn't it? That's not the only place Christ says that, either. This idea of forgiveness is important enough that He repeats it just to drum it through our thick skulls because we still don't get it. If we don't forgive others, He will not forgive us! That's a pretty scary thought, actually.

Mark 11:25 CSB — “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven will also forgive you your wrongdoing.”

If we have anything against anyone, we've got to let it go. We can't hold on to our grudges towards people. It doesn't matter what these people did to us; we've got to forgive them. It's for our own good. We'll get into this a bit more here in a minute, but for now, let's look at the topic of forgiveness a wee bit more. This isn't a topic unique to the New Testament. Forgiveness was just as important to the Israelites of old as it was in Christ's day. 

Leviticus 19:18 CSB — “Do not take revenge or bear a grudge against members of your community, but love your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD.

Some of you may recognize this as part of what Christ called the second greatest commandment. There's a bit more here than what Christ quoted, and the reason for that is His audience knew their scriptures by heart. He didn't need to quote the whole thing for them to know what He was talking about. Here, the one who became Christ declares that bearing grudges and taking revenge is the opposite of loving your neighbor as yourself. Revenge is the natural conclusion of bearing a grudge, and God says don't even get started. Don't give sin that foothold; rather love your neighbor as yourself. Yes, even the one that parked in front of your driveway that one time, or the one who said your grandma looks like a hound dog, or the church organization that offended you. 

You're absolutely right. This isn't easy. It's pretty tough to let things go and to forgive someone, especially when it seems like they are getting away with what they did to us. It's not our job to exact revenge upon these people, but it is absolutely our job to forgive them. It's part of loving those whom God also created in His image. Love does not bear a grudge; it is not resentful. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-6 CSB — Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth.

We gotta wipe those records clean. It is not right for us to continually hold the things someone once did over their head. If they have a lifestyle of those things, then that's a bit different. Not different in that we hold a grudge, but different in that we have the ability to avoid that lifestyle. We can choose not to keep company with them. We still have to be polite towards them and shine the love and light of Christ, but we don't have to keep company with them. 

It sure is satisfying to get revenge, though, and it tastes awfully sweet. As children of God, we get to do the opposite because we are His representatives, and revenge is our Father's job. 

Romans 12:17-21 CSB — Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone’s eyes. If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for God’s wrath, because it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord. But If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in so doing you will be heaping fiery coals on his head. Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.

We are the forces of light and goodness, and we cannot conquer the forces of darkness by becoming darkness. Only light can overcome the dark; only good can overcome evil. We are the children of the light, the children of God. 

Ephesians 5:8-9 CSB — For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light ​— ​ for the fruit of the light consists of all goodness, righteousness, and truth ​— ​

Walking as children of light requires that we do not hold grudges. Rather, we must do the opposite of seeking revenge and do good to those who have hurt us and even feed those we consider enemies. There is an account in the Book of Kings where Elisha, at God's command, instructed the king to feed an entire army of enemy soldiers after surrounding them. This is an extreme incident, but it demonstrates what God expects from us. We show His love to everyone regardless of real or perceived slights and wounds. 

I say perceived because, quite often, they aren't even aware that we were offended by something that they did, or they are oblivious to the fact that we are still upset. They are totally ignorant of any problem other than that we act weird around them and seem to be avoiding them. This brings us to another aspect of holding grudges, and it is this: if it's someone that we value a relationship with or need a relationship with, as in with a coworker, then we really need to get over ourselves and go to that person and tell them what our problem is. Chances are, they were totally unaware of the pain their actions were causing, and they will take steps to correct them (ceasing their soup slurping, for example). Whether they do or don't, we still need to let it go.

Matthew 18:15 CSB — “If your brother sins against you, go tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won your brother.

This is so important that the sooner we get this done, the better. It's a mistake to let it build up and turn into something big when we could have dealt with it while it was quite small.

Ephesians 4:26-27 CSB — Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, and don’t give the devil an opportunity.

When we let things build and we carry a grudge, we give the Devil a foothold, and that is most dangerous indeed. This is a serious topic we are dealing with! We face serious repercussions if we hold grudges and do not forgive. Forgiveness does not mean that we forget what they did, rather it means that what they did ceases to matter to us, and we do not hold it against them any longer. Remembrance of what they did is no longer important to us, and we let it go. Holding onto things is what a grudge is. We are holding onto something, not them. It is we who have something to let go of, not them. 

When we hold onto a grudge for long enough, it turns rancid. It is the unsuspected seed of an acrimonious plant. A retained grudge turns quite suddenly into a root of the bitterness plant. Things are about to get heavy. Not only does our forgiveness depend upon our forgiving of others, but so does our eternal life. Our eternal life is literally on the line with this topic! 

Bitterness is a plant that will consume us and our physical lives once it takes root unless we pull it up. Once it consumes us, it then consumes our spiritual life as well because we continue to feed it more and more until we have nothing left. It feeds off of our very soul, turning what should be light into a black hole of darkness. I have seen a plant of bitterness come close to destroying people within my own family, and I have seen others completely consumed by bitterness. I'm sure you have as well. 

How is it possible for one tiny grudge to lead to the loss of our spiritual life? It all depends on how big it was to start with and how much we feed it. We think that we have the giant ugly thornbush hidden from the view of others, but sooner or later, it invades every aspect of our lives, and it is on display for all to see. What may have started as a relatively small wound from someone else turns into a giant gaping hole when we hold a grudge. If they did what they did on purpose, then they win double when we hold it against them as a grudge. They take control of our lives and ultimately destroy us. Earlier, I said that the rate of growth of the bitterness plant depends on how much we feed it. We feed it by thinking about and dwelling on it. By giving it our time, we give it all the nourishment it needs to flourish. 

Back to our spiritual life, though. We are dealing with soul poison here. Grudges and not forgiving people fully will absolutely poison our soul. 

Hebrews 12:14-15 CSB — Pursue peace with everyone, and holiness ​— ​without it no one will see the Lord. Make sure that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble and defiling many.

Bitterness will cause us to fall short of the grace of God. Without a doubt it will, because we will fall short of forgiveness ourselves if we do not drop our grudges and forgive those who have wronged us!!!! I cannot stress this enough! We will not have the grace of God if we hold onto bitterness!! We will not receive our eternal life. Eternal life is a gift from God, and He can absolutely take away what He has given to us if we do not do what we ought. Bitterness turns the light of our soul into darkness.

Ephesians 4:31-32 CSB — Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.

Just to drive it home a little deeper, let go of that grudge because it is poisoning your soul. Forgive those you think are unforgivable and let it go. You’re utterly and completely right. I don’t know what awful and terrible things these people or this Church have done to you, but I can still say it with confidence. Let it go. Why am I so confident that it’s possible for you, too? I could fall back on a great logical argument as to why it’s possible, but I’m confident because God says so in His word. I’m confident because no matter your situation, someone else went through a worse one without becoming bitter or holding a grudge because bitterness is a choice. You choose to be bitter or not to be bitter. It's not easy to make that choice, is it? It's far easier to plant that deadly plant than it is to uproot it, but your eternal life depends upon it. God will help you if you ask Him to. Even Simon the Sorcerer had a chance to be saved if he repented and sought God.

Acts 8:22-23 CSB — “Therefore repent of this wickedness of yours, and pray to the Lord that, if possible, your heart’s intent may be forgiven. “For I see you are poisoned by bitterness and bound by wickedness.”

We always have a chance to turn back to God and seek His deliverance from whatever muddy bog we have stumbled into. God is merciful and just to forgive us when we turn to Him. We just have to turn to Him. Part of having mercy on others is remembering the mercy and love God had for us while we were yet sinners. He didn't know if we would turn to Him, yet He still loved us enough to send His Son to die for our sins. If we are to be called His children, cannot we also show one-millionth of the mercy He showed us and forgive those who sin against us? Christ forgave those who crucified Him; I think we can probably forgive those in our lives who have caused us hurt. 

Colossians 3:12-14 CSB — Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive. Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.

No, this is certainly not easy, but we are a new creation in Christ, and we have His spirit to help us. As His children, we, too, are love. Oh, not perfectly, and certainly not all the time, but that is our goal. We are on our way, and we ought to keep the noxious weeds out of our garden. 

Romans 12:2 CSB — Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.

We are a work in progress, and when we recognize this fact, we can easily recognize that everyone else is. It makes it just that much easier to forgive them, knowing that they are on the same journey we are. We are all imperfect, but we are all loved by the Father, and Christ died for all of us. Poison isn't good for our soul any more than it is for our physical body, but the only way it gets inside us is if we eat it. So don't eat it. Don't let that plant grow in the first place, but if you do, call poison control and seek help. Uproot it and let it go. 

We love to see people get their own, and it feels real good to give it to them and get revenge for what they did to us. We are God's children and lightbearers. We cannot bear a grudge and enter the Kingdom of Heaven because darkness has no place in the light. The plant of bitterness cannot be allowed to feed off of our soul because it will poison us. For all of you dealing with bitterness and struggling with holding a grudge, I am praying for you as I write the closing lines of this article. It's not an easy path to walk, but it starts with recognition and repentance. Don't let a grudge keep you from eternal life. Don't let it destroy your physical life, either. Turn back to God and seek His healing. Repent, for God is merciful and just to forgive.