The Christian Woman

 

What is the role of the Christian woman in the home and in the congregation? Is she, as many say, “useless?” Is she just there to make the meals and set up potlucks? This is the view that many in the various churches take. Women were just put here for the benefit and service of men. On the flip side of this issue, there are those who believe that women are to be at the forefront and the leaders, even to the point of taking control of either the family or congregation if the masculine leadership fails. Is either of these views correct? Well, let’s take a look at what we’ve got written in our instruction manual, the Bible. 

The first story that I want to look at is in Judges, and it is the story of Deborah. This is a favorite story of those who seek to promote egalitarianism and push men and women into roles that they were not created for. This is a tremendous story that perfectly illustrates the role of the Christian woman, especially when taken in context with the rest of the Bible.

Judges 4:4-15 NKJV — Now Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lapidoth, was judging Israel at that time. And she would sit under the palm tree of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in the mountains of Ephraim. And the children of Israel came up to her for judgment. 

Then she sent and called for Barak the son of Abinoam from Kedesh in Naphtali, and said to him, “Has not the LORD God of Israel commanded, ‘Go and deploy troops at Mount Tabor; take with you ten thousand men of the sons of Naphtali and of the sons of Zebulun; ‘and against you I will deploy Sisera, the commander of Jabin’s army, with his chariots and his multitude at the River Kishon; and I will deliver him into your hand’?” 

And Barak said to her, “If you will go with me, then I will go; but if you will not go with me, I will not go!” So she said, “I will surely go with you; nevertheless there will be no glory for you in the journey you are taking, for the LORD will sell Sisera into the hand of a woman.” Then Deborah arose and went with Barak to Kedesh. And Barak called Zebulun and Naphtali to Kedesh; he went up with ten thousand men under his command, and Deborah went up with him. 

Now Heber the Kenite, of the children of Hobab the father-in-law of Moses, had separated himself from the Kenites and pitched his tent near the terebinth tree at Zaanaim, which is beside Kedesh. And they reported to Sisera that Barak the son of Abinoam had gone up to Mount Tabor. So Sisera gathered together all his chariots, nine hundred chariots of iron, and all the people who were with him, from Harosheth Hagoyim to the River Kishon. 

Then Deborah said to Barak, “Up! For this is the day in which the LORD has delivered Sisera into your hand. Has not the LORD gone out before you?” So Barak went down from Mount Tabor with ten thousand men following him. And the LORD routed Sisera and all his chariots and all his army with the edge of the sword before Barak, and Sisera alighted from his chariot and fled away on foot.

Here’s the story in all of its fullness. On the surface, it appears to be a pretty straightforward story of a woman taking charge and leading an army to victory, but let’s take a look at an interesting scripture in Genesis that will give us a great deal of context. 

Genesis 2:18 NKJV — And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

God made both men and women in His image, and He hardwired certain roles into their makeup. Society tries to deny this base programming, and we can see the effects that this has had on the world around us. We were both created in the image of God, and we are both of equal value, and our roles have equal importance. The woman was made from the rib of a man taken from his side. Adam was the first one created in the image of God, and when God made woman, He took out a side and gave it to the woman—a side of man’s nature. We see the beauty of this in the way a godly marriage clicks perfectly together when both people are singing their parts in harmony, neither flat nor sharp. God created us with a role to play, whether man or woman and that is the role we should desire to fill. Sure, we can fill another role and might even be able to be passable at it, but it is not our role. 

Isaiah 45:9 NKJV — “Woe to him who strives with his Maker!

Let the potsherd strive with the potsherds of the earth!

Shall the clay say to him who forms it, ‘What are you making?’

Or shall your handiwork say, ‘He has no hands’?

Romans 9:20 NKJV — But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? Will the thing formed say to him who formed it, “Why have you made me like this?”

You can use a Phillips head screwdriver to stir sugar into your coffee, and it will even work. That’s not what it was designed for, but it will do the job. It makes a terrible shovel, though. The creation had a designer and a programmer. We have roles that we are supposed to fill, and we need to seek to fill those roles. You can certainly prove to me that a woman can be the breadwinner and a man can be the one who stays at home, and you can probably even find situations in which it has worked. To which I will respond by stirring my coffee with a screwdriver. It can be done. Society seeks to make us sing the same part as everyone else instead of each of us singing the part God designed in each of us. You can always find an exception to a rule, but that doesn’t make the rule or generalization of no effect. I can say people are born with two legs. You can then go and find examples of people born without legs or with only one leg. This doesn’t break the generalization; it merely proves that there are situations that are not ideal that can still work. We are shooting for the ideal in our marriages. 

Now we get back to the moment in the Garden of Eden when God gave men and women their roles. He said, “I will make a helper comparable to him.” The first thing we notice is that this is someone who is comparable to Adam. She has the same intelligence, the same worth, and the same spiritual potential, being made in the image of God. She was made out of Adam, however, and thus Adam is her head. Which he promptly failed at, but that was his assigned role. Eve was created to give Adam assistance as an equal under his headship. 

Ephesians 5:22-29 NKJV — Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

This means that the man has the mission, and the woman comes on board to help him fulfill that mission. The wife is the husband’s helpmeet; the husband is not the wife’s helpmeet. Two equals with one goal and two roles. The man is the head of the family, and the woman is the heart. A family can limp along without one or the other, but it will either lack effective leadership or effective emotional support. Even if both parents are there, if one is checked out, it is just as damaging. God hates divorce, and divorce strikes at the very heart of what a marriage is supposed to be. 

We’ve got an idea of what the role is, but we don’t know quite what it involves yet. This is where the story of Deborah comes in. Deborah did something very interesting when she called Barak in. She said, “Has not the Lord commanded?” This is past tense; God had already told Barak what he was supposed to do, but much like Jonah, he wasn’t doing it. Because Barak failed, God didn’t take away leadership from him and give it to a woman; instead, God had a woman fulfill her role. She gave Barak a kick in the backside to get him moving and doing what God told him to do. She supported him and pushed him to fill his role. She had to do this a couple of more times to get him moving, but eventually, Barak led the army to victory with Deborah as his helper and support. Deborah did not take control, and she did not lead the army. Instead, she exemplified the role of a woman in the home and congregation. The role of helper, encourager, and pushing men to fill and accomplish the roles they were called to. Men are the pilots, and women are the copilots. Every man needs a copilot, and every congregation needs people to fill the roles of pilots and copilots. 

Men and women were given roles not necessarily for the benefit of themselves but for the benefit of the family and the congregation. Filling these roles does not always come naturally or easily, but that does not excuse us from the responsibility to fill them. When masculine leadership fails, feminine women push their men to step up. They aren’t to seize control themselves, yet we see this all the time in the religious world. Men are the head and leaders of the family and congregation, and women are the heart and soul of the congregation, which gives the head the ability to function with all sides of the view in mind. Men and women seek extremes on either side of this issue, and that causes one or both parties to sing their parts either sharp or flat. Rather than declaring to God that we know better than Him and He didn’t know what He was doing when He created us with the roles He did, let’s instead strive to sing our part perfectly. When all in the choir sing their parts perfectly, the harmony and the music are out of this world.