Narcissism and the Sin of Sodom

 Have you ever encountered people who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions? Who never admit fault for anything, or, if they actually do admit some wrongdoing, still try to blame you or someone else for their wrongdoing?

Have you ever encountered people who erupt in anger if corrected in any way, no matter how delicately one approaches it? Or who lash out in anger if you don’t do exactly what they want when they want it?

Have you ever encountered people who are thin-skinned and easily offended? So much so that you never know what might set them off? Any innocent word or action might set them off, and so others walk on eggshells around them.

These are characteristics of narcissism. Narcissists are, above all else, extraordinarily selfish and self-centered, as we can see from the above description. They feel entitled to getting their own way on everything; they try to manipulate others; they berate and lash out at others, but are easily offended; they refuse to accept blame or responsibility for any wrongdoing; they have quick, violent tempers; and they simply do not care about other people, even though they usually pretend to.

You’ve probably observed such behavior many times. You probably know people who fit much of this description, or perhaps even all of it.

Now, let’s go back through that description and apply it to ourselves. Have you ever exhibited any of these behaviors? I can think of quite a few times that I have.

You see, we all have a little narcissism in us, even if it hasn’t devoured us. None of us enjoy accepting blame or being corrected; all of us get offended by things we shouldn’t; all of us like to get our own way; all of us get impatient with others; and all of us have selfish tendencies.

These things are the ugly face of human nature. They’re the face of a monster that we must resist and defeat, with God’s help. We human beings are NOT “basically good,” as some dream, but rather, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” (Jer. 17:9). The Apostle Paul added, “The carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be” (Rom. 8:7).

As we draw ever closer to the end of the age, behavior like this will continue to spread throughout society. The Apostle Paul warned us,

“But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!” (2 Tim. 3:1-5).

Doesn’t this nail a big chunk of modern society? It describes a selfish, entitled, greedy, vain, and irresponsible generation. It describes grown-up toddlers, who grew into adult bodies but never learned self-control or self-restraint.

Paul continued on to tell us it will only get worse as time goes on: “But evil men and impostors will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived” (2 Tim. 3:13).

God’s Word vs. Narcissism

God’s Word unequivocally condemns the behaviors we’ve been talking about and exhorts us to overcome them. One could quote volumes from God’s Word about this topic, but space doesn’t permit, nor should it be necessary. The Bible is pretty straightforward on these things.

Do we put ourselves and our own desires before others?

God’s Word tells us, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others” (Phil. 2:3-4).

Do we have a sense of entitlement?

God’s Word tells us, “Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content” (1 Tim. 6:6-8).

Do we have quick, hot tempers?

God’s Word tells us, “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (Jam. 1:19-20).

Are we easily offended?

Eccl. 7:20-22 tells us, “For there is not a just man on earth who does good and does not sin. Also do not take to heart everything people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. For many times, also, your own heart has known that even you have cursed others.”

Do we get impatient with others?

1 Cor. 13:4 tells us, “Love suffers long and is kind.” Just imagine how patient our heavenly Father has to be with us!

Do we berate and tongue-lash others?

God’s Word tells us, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph. 4:31-32).

Are we quick to correct others or point out their faults?

Yeshua/Jesus tells us, “And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Mat. 7:3-5).

This doesn’t mean we should never correct anyone; plenty of verses tell us otherwise. Rather, it means we shouldn’t nitpick others or concern ourselves with their minor flaws.

Do we refuse to be corrected?

God’s Word tells us, “Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid” (Prov. 12:1).

That doesn’t mean we blindly accept all correction, of course. Whenever someone corrects us, we have to compare the correction to God’s Word before accepting it.

Why Is It Getting Worse in the Last Days?

The question is, why is narcissism spreading? Why are people continually getting more and more self-absorbed, less and less willing to accept responsibility for their actions, and more and more easily offended? Why do they feel so entitled, and act out like spoiled brats when they don’t get their way?

Both the Bible and history show that this always happens in decadent and decaying societies. Why do you think so many of God’s prophets and apostles were martyred? Because the wicked not only refuse correction or to admit any wrongdoing, but they cannot even tolerate another point of view! They cannot bear the thought that someone might disapprove of their actions, or speak out against them. That’s narcissism!

We see narcissism on full display in the story of Lot. You’re likely familiar with the story. In Genesis 19, two angels, appearing as ordinary men, came to visit Lot and his family in Sodom.

“Now before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both old and young, all the people from every quarter, surrounded the house” (Gen. 19:4). These grotesque perverts then demanded to have carnal relations with Lot’s guests, but Lot refused, imploring, “Please, my brethren, do not do so wickedly!” (Gen. 19:7).

What was the Sodomites’ reaction? “And they said, ‘Stand back!’ Then they said, ‘This one came in to stay here, and he keeps acting as a judge; now we will deal worse with you than with them.’” (Gen. 19:9). The mere act of disagreeing with their behavior, of asking them not to persist in their wickedness, filled them with rage!

The people of Sodom were narcissists on steroids. They were self-absorbed and hell-bent on having their own way at any cost. They were enraged that anyone would dare stand up to them. They felt entitled to have whatever they wanted, and couldn’t have cared less about hurting others.

Naturally, the Sodomites had no power against the angels of God. The angels safely escorted Lot and his family out of the city, and God rained down fire and brimstone on Sodom and its sister cities.

The popular view of Sodom is as a city of homosexuals which God destroyed with fire and brimstone. While this is true, and though this was Sodom’s end, that’s not where the story began.

In Ezek. 16:49-50, God rebuked Judah with these words: “Look, this was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: She and her daughter had pride, fullness of food, and abundance of idleness; neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy. And they were haughty and committed abomination before Me; therefore I took them away as I saw fit.”

Sodom’s road to destruction began with pride, fullness of food, and abundance of idleness. It’s been the same story in nearly every empire and civilization. Here’s the cycle of civilization: “Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.”

Now, where in that cycle do you think we’re at today? We live in a fabulously wealthy society. If King Solomon could behold the luxuries we have today — the cars, the air conditioning, the Internet, the smartphones — he would be astonished!

Luxury means ease and comfort. Ease and comfort lead to idleness — to people having too much time on their hands. As the old saying goes, “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop,” and so it is.

Is it wrong to be wealthy? No. Plenty of God’s servants in the Bible were wealthy, including Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Job, and King David. Wealth isn’t a sin, but it does pose challenges to our character, challenges that we must be aware of and on guard against.

A life of ease and luxury leads to another, more serious problem. God warned ancient Israel not to “say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gained me this wealth.’ And you shall remember the LORD your God, for it is He who gives you power to get wealth, that He may establish His covenant which He swore to your fathers, as it is this day” (Deut. 8:17-18).

Here’s a similar warning in Deut. 32:11-15, where God speaks of Israel, “As an eagle stirs up its nest, hovers over its young, spreading out its wings, taking them up, carrying them on its wings, so the LORD alone led him, and there was no foreign god with him. He made him ride in the heights of the earth, that he might eat the produce of the fields; He made him draw honey from the rock, and oil from the flinty rock; curds from the cattle, and milk of the flock, with fat of lambs; and rams of the breed of Bashan, and goats, with the choicest wheat; and you drank wine, the blood of the grapes. But Jeshurun grew fat and kicked; you grew fat, you grew thick, you are obese! Then he forsook God who made him, and scornfully esteemed the Rock of his salvation.”

Prosperity, such as we’ve lived in our whole lives, allows people to think they don’t need God anymore. Many want God to bless them, but don’t feel any need to obey Him. So they do what’s right in their own eyes, just as God’s Word told us they would: “You shall not at all do as we are doing here today — every man doing whatever is right in his own eyes” (Deut. 12:8).

Once a society casts off God and His laws, once it casts off moral restraint, once everyone does whatever is right in his own eyes, there’s no stopping that trainwreck. Decadence and depravity will spread like cancer until the whole society is infected, and God mercifully puts it out of its own misery.

So, as we see society rotting around us, as we see morality slipping away, let’s brace ourselves in awareness that it will only get worse. People will become more self-absorbed, more easily offended, and less willing to take responsibility for their own actions than they already are. They will love themselves more, and others less. In other words, there will be more and more narcissists as we near the end of the age.

Let us take great care to make sure we ourselves put off these characteristics, and not think ourselves immune! “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall” (1 Cor. 10:12). Let us not be carried away in the mudslide of social decay.